...are all too familiar to me. I think I even try to set myself up for failure, because that's what I'm comfortable with. I am much more comfortable with failure, than success. That scares the heck out of me. I don't think I would know what to do with it. If I really think about it, what scares me the most is falling further. The more successful, the harder the fall. So I'd rather fail, and then I can just give up.
I've failed. I didn't meet my goal of publishing a post every weekend. I wanted to try and see if I could do it, and I didn't. I didn't make it very far. But there was actually another reason I wanted to set a mark that I didn't think I could attain. I kind of wanted to fail. In a good way. I wanted to have something that would be tough, and if I succeeded would be very rewarding, but I also wanted to have something that was tough in order to have a good chance of failing, and getting back on the old horse and keep trudging on. I am really, really good at giving up. I'm not good at getting back up. So I'm getting back up, not giving up on this goal. And though I'm publishing this late, I am publishing this, AND it's before the next weekend. That means I have a chance to keep somewhat on track.
Paul said something about God's grace being perfected in our weakness. I hate weakness (in myself at least). I want my grace being perfected in my perfection. That's not how God wants it to happen though. He wants (and deserves) all the glory. I know I have weaknesses, and so I try my best to not let anyone else know. What I need to be doing is resting in God's grace. Let my weakness show, don't strive to be perfect. To not give up and quit, but instead continue walking. It's hard for God's grace to shine when you shut down at every failure, which is what I normally do. So I'm going to try and not shut down, no matter how much I may want to. I'm going to try and continue through failure, so that God may be glorified when He, ultimately, turns it into His victory. (Something that may help me along this way is lining up my definition of failure with His definition.)
3 tricks for self-editing
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